The time has come, we've had a long run, almost three years now, and it's been good. I don't regret a single moment, but alas, all good things must come to an indeterminate pause. I promise not to pull a Naveen Andrews and father a child while we are on a break. You see, the thing is, y'know, it's just... well... I have another love now, and that's my novel and while both of you share the letters L, O, V and E, novel has fewer extraneous vowels and consonants. I just feel that I need to strike out and explore this other option. I hope you don't think ill of me. I just don't have the time to juggle the two of you.
One day I might return, you won't have to take me back, you can whittle my friendslist down to zero, I understand, but if you can find it in your heart to keep the option open I would be ecstatic, like a little white pill with the Mitsubishi logo on it.
This is not a deletion, just a pause, a break. I love you still, but there is a greater love I must pursue.
P.S. As a parting gift, I give you this, the answer to a question that might have been turning itself in your mind, as it did in mine. Was it sheer coincidence that Durex set up shop in Knutsford or did the CEO have a puerile streak a mile wide? Turns out, it was just glorious, glorious coincidence.